https://www.dailymercury.com.au/news/we-are-in-a-position-where-we-can-make-a-differenc/3897565/ THERE is one former client Gail Westcott says has stayed with her. It was years ago, she said, but the memories remain ingrained. It was just before one Christmas when the Sarina Hair Fashions owner noticed the change in her client's behaviour. The woman had gone from a once cheerful, bubbly person to sad, depressed and completely lost. She had become involved in an extremely abusive relationship. Less than two weeks after visiting the salon, Ms Westcott found out the worst had happened. "I found out she had died but had been in a coma for a week before that. It was just after she left my salon this happened," she said.
"She was talking about her children and how she loved them, she couldn't understand the way her daughter behaved to her. You could just see she was so low, thinking she was unloved." Ms Westcott suffered from her own turmoils with domestic violence. She was one of the lucky ones, she said, as she had support networks that were able to come to her aid when she found the will to leave the mentally abusive relationship behind. Ms Westcott's moment came one Father's Day, when she saw the fear her kids had for their dad's behaviour. It made her realise enough was enough. "People say 'why don't they leave?'. I know why they don't leave, they have this mental thought in their head that if they leave 'he's going to track me down'," she said. "You've been with this person who is so controlling, you feel scared to step out of the box because you feel he can watch everything you're doing. "The control factor there is in your brain - I had four children, so the thing for me to leave was 'oh my gosh, I'm being a bad parent because they're going to lose their dad.' "Yes he's my husband that mentally abuses, but they're his children … you've got the fear that as a mother you don't want to do that. The kids need a parent, you think then these children - no matter how bad a dad he is - they need him." The realities of suicide and mental illness is more than the fatalities, but also the attempts. Therefore, having the knowledge and capabilities to intervene beforehand is essential. Ms Westcott took part in Grapevine's Heart to Heart Hairdressers campaign, which trained hairdressers and barbers to recognise the signs of how domestic violence contributes to mental illness and how to point the sufferer in the right direction of where help can be received. Grapevine Group founder Debbie Knight said while three out of four deaths by suicide were male, women made more attempts. She said the way hairdressers communicated with clients formed the framework for the initiative. As for Ms Westcott, she said it was crucial that more business got involved with the safeTalk training on offer. "We are in a position here where we can make a difference," she said. "I thought just the talking would be enough, but it's knowing how to talk to people … right down to asking 'do you feel suicidal', 'do you feel you need help?' "Just talking doesn't cut it." If you need support this Christmas, phone Lifeline on 13 11 14.
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AuthorWith instances of suicide and mental illness increasing at Christmas time, I pitched a series of a page each day for a week covering a variety of mental health issues ArchivesCategories |