https://www.dailymercury.com.au/news/id-given-up-on-life-all-together-i-needed-help/3823077/ THE challenge for Bradley Cowan in confronting his mental illness was opening up. But when he found the support of someone who related to his experience his road to recovery became clearer. Mr Cowan has endured a long process dealing with alcoholism. His addiction triggered a host of mental health issues. He had his first drink on his 18th birthday and "lit up like a Christmas tree”. For a while he managed to turn himself into a functioning alcoholic and perform well at work. But when he was 24 his dad passed away. He bounced to various rehabilitation facilities. For a while, he seemed to be going well but dysfunctional relationships sent him back to the brink. When he was 32 he moved back in with his mother in what he said was a "kick to the ego”. But he was sober, and met a woman he would later marry and have three sons with.
But when his marriage broke down, drinking returned to his life. He lost his job, was evicted from his house and he "couldn't stay sober enough to see his kids”. "I saw them six times in one year, but that was last year - things have changed. I ended up in the mental health ward at Mackay Base at the start of this year, in the back of an ambulance, with bandages on my wrist,” Mr Cowan said. "I'd given up on life altogether, I needed help, and it was the thought of those kids that kept me there.” Before Mr Cowan lived at Mackay's new Step Up Step Down facility, he met Bren Viellaris. Ms Viellaris has suffered from her own battles with mental illness, but that failed to deter her from lending a helping hand. The pair credit their relationship with saving each others lives. "I was pretty much homeless by the time I got to where I was, so she put a call out, got a whole heap of donations for me,” Mr Cowan said. "She put me in touch with my accommodation, where I'm staying now, and now I do volunteer work with her. She gives me the kick up the butt when I need it. "When your mental health gets that bad you need support; you'll face the inevitable one way or another. That's the importance with peer support and friendship - other people can see it in you, but you can't see it yourself.” Their support for one another paints the image of how important communication is in managing an individual's mental health. It is the message being preached this RUOK Day, which takes place on September 12. Ms Viellaris has dealt with the aftermath of family deaths and abusive relationships to the point where she wanted to "roll the truck over”. She has learned the worst thing you can say to someone is "get over it” and as fine as they may appear on the outside you never knew what was happening beneath the surface. "I've lost a fair few relatives and very close friends that have committed suicide, and being out there it is very hard to ask for help. But if you can see someone struggling, just be there and be supportive,” Ms Viellaris said. "Brad didn't ask for help. You knew something was wrong, so ask them. They're not going to tell you, they're going to cover it up, but you know realistically that something is wrong with them.” Mr Cowan said mental health was not selective and it could affect anyone, which made communication so crucial in preventing the worse case scenarios. "The unfortunate thing about mental health is you become unwell and all you can think about are the negative things in life - to try and do something positive can seem like climbing Mt Everest, and the easier out is to stay in your addictions,” he said. "Don't be ashamed, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody has their own issues, some can deal with them but some need help.”
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AuthorA selection of my general news content. My main round was health, however I frequently covered weather, crime, politics and general human interest. Archives
January 2020
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